I might say something like, “Whatever you’re feeling right now, I’m here with you.” I’ll remind them to breathe, and may even provide a brief breathing or grounding activity to help them calm down. Are they experiencing any discomfort? If so, first, I’ll normalize it, assuring them that many new therapy clients feel this way. Usually, I’ll ask them how they’re feeling in the moment. Next, I’ll offer some insight into what we’ll be doing in this first session and subsequent ones.Īs a mind-body therapist, I share a little bit about myself and my modalities, including breathwork and mindfulness. I’ll also ask where they are and if anyone else is in the room with them, just to ensure their privacy. In my teletherapy sessions with first-time clients, I’ll greet them by name, introduce myself, and tell them it’s great to see them. The good news is that creating this environment is very possible. Like so many other therapists right now, I’ve switched to doing teletherapy, which requires that we pay extra attention to creating an environment that allows first-time clients to trust us. I’ve found that clients’ first experiences in therapy often determine whether they’ll return and how much they’ll be willing to disclose. What happened recently that led you to pick up the phone and call me?” Other times it’s something more common, like a painful argument or communication breakdown. Maybe it’s something dramatic, like an act of aggression or infidelity. I used to resist small talk, thinking it interfered with setting the right tone, but over the years, I’ve learned it’s a prerequisite.Īfterward, I ask both partners, “So what are the two of you doing here today?” If they’re vague, I focus the conversation by saying, “Usually when a couple sets up an appointment with me, something has just happened. I’ll ask them if they were able to find my office, which is in an old house, circa 1907, and joke about our petite parking lot.
I have a big fish tank that they’ll often comment on. When I usher a new couple into my office, I always make small talk. This doesn’t only inform me, but sends the message that we’re going to be focusing on specific issues, not just wandering around in the wilderness of feelings. I also give both partners a detailed questionnaire in advance of our first session, so each person can describe the problems that have led them to therapy. Along with a note confirming the appointment, I send detailed instructions with information about fees, insurance, and even where to park. Many men benefit from therapeutic transparency, so I load them up with information before they’ve even walked through the door. Knowing and anticipating that many men are likely to feel apprehensive about therapy guides my opening moves. I see a lot of couples, which means a lot of reluctant men. In a first meeting, how do you break through a client’s tough exterior? Convey concern? Build rapport? Here, three therapists share their guidance. Perhaps nobody knows this as well as therapists, for whom first introductions with clients can be make-or-break moments that influence therapy sessions to come. It’s said that first impressions are everything.
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